These are hard times for satirists. The Onion is in danger of becoming just another condiment for cheeseburgers. It is bad enough that scores of millions of Americans, led by a former candidate for the Vice Presidency, actually believe that in the not too distant future they will be taken up bodily to heaven, minus their tooth fillings, artificial hips, and hair implants, leaving the rest of us to deal with the End Times. Now a sizable number of Texans have become convinced that the Federal Government is planning, under the guise of an Army training exercise, to seize control of the state and take away everyone's guns. The Governor, mindful of the threat, has pledged to use the Texas National Guard to monitor the maneuvers to ascertain whether they pose a threat to the liberty of his constituents.
As Freud observed a good long time ago, what we profess to fear is often a useful clue to what we secretly desire. I suspect that the hysteria in Texas is caused not be the belief that the rest of the country covets Texas, but by the fear that we actually don't very much like Texas and would be quite happy to see it go away.
If Jonathan Swift were alive today and were to float a contemporary version of his modest proposal that the starving Irish eat their own children, I fear that the most vigorous response would come from vegans.