Inasmuch as this is my web log, or blog, I think it
appropriate that I engage in some reasonably public navel gazing. For some time now, I have been deeply,
ungetoverably troubled, not to say unhappy.
I am not referring to elevated, sophisticated distress, the untergang des Abendlandes brooding we
intellectuals deploy as our shtick. I am talking about a pit-of-the-stomach
lying-awake-at-night unhappiness that is momentarily lessened, but not ever
dispelled, by a favorable round of polls or the victory of a Democratic
Socialist primary winner in a safely Democratic seat.
Lord knows, I have been unhappy about the way of the world
at least since Jack Kennedy invaded Cuba and America embraced its nuclear
weapons in a cosmic death hug. I have
seen Martin and Malcolm and Jack and Bobby killed, I have survived Nixon and
Reagan and Clinton. Trump is surely a
uniquely despicable man, but at least he has not yet started a war, which sets
him apart from a number of his post-1945 predecessors. Why then, when I am sitting quietly and the
facial muscles supporting my reflex smile relax, does my wife look at me and
say, with concern, “You look so unhappy”?
To be sure, I am eighty-four, and the end of my life is a
great deal closer than my middle years.
But my health is good, my children are flourishing, I am embarked on an
exciting new venture in New York, and I am, by any reasonable measure,
rich. I mean, the only other people I
know with apartments in Paris are my friends who live there. So why so blue? It is, as the King of Siam is wont to say in The King and I, a puzzlement.
The source of my distress is not the manifest evidence of
the sheer evil of our political rulers.
I have known that for many decades.
Rather, it is the recognition that half of my fellow Americans are ready
to embrace that evil when it is presented to them without the slightest simulacrum
of the appearance of humanity and decency.
Hypocrisy, La Rochefoucauld observed, is the tribute vice pays to
virtue. Fascism, we might add, is not
having to say you are sorry.
I have been sustained all these years by the belief that if
only the people could be brought to see the truth, they would throw off their
chains and seize liberation. Why else
write all those books unmasking the imperial aims of America’s “moral world leadership,”
those manifestos demanding the end to voter suppression? Why march for peace, for social justice, for
Gay liberation, for women’s rights?
With luck, we will flip the House. In 2020, we may take back the Senate and the
Presidency. But as I slip and slide into
my nineties, those scores of millions will still be there, ready to embrace the
next fascist poseur.
And after I am gone, as my grandchildren approach middle
age, the water level will rise and the world’s billions will be displaced by changes
that even then will be denied not only by the rich, who will have relocated to
higher ground, but by the swamped cheering, chanting masses who elect and
reelect them.
Is it any wonder I cannot sleep?
Now, when is my next canvassing appointment?