RULES TO LIVE BY

Now that I am approaching four score years in age, I am , like Lewis Carroll's Father William, frequently asked what I have learned during my long life. Herewith some rules I have picked up along the way. Some I learned from others, some are [I believe] original with me. I offer them as a first approximation to the Wisdom of the Ages. Feel free to add to the list, should you be so moved.

1. When you are cooking in the kitchen, anything that falls on the floor is safe to eat if you pick it up within fifteen seconds.

2. Butter and salt are good for you in Paris.

3. If you are on a diet, the little tastes of things they give you in fancy food stores have no calories in them. On the other hand, reading the dessert menu in a restaurant is 100 calories.

4. Steve Roberts is a good reporter and is not to be held responsible for the fatuous things that his wife, Cokie Roberts, says.

5. [This one is for visiting foreigners] In the American traffic light system, green means go, red means stop, and yellow means speed up.